Castiel's Period Problem
by The Princess of Pain
Summary: Castiel's vessel is Jenny, not Jimmy. Being a human female comes with things Castiel is unaccustomed to. And it's awkward for everyone. But especially for Dean. Genderbent!NewlyHuman!Castiel Set in Season 9! But AU because Sam isn't possessed by Gadreel. Could be Destiel, if you squint.


The first-time Dean sees blood on the back of Cas' trench coat he says nothing. He figures its demon blood, or some angels. After all, there probably wasn't much time for the Angel to clean herself up, and he had a feeling if he said something, she would just cock her head at him and ask him what he's talking about. So, he says nothing about it, and forgets about it.

Jenny dies and Dean sees no more blood on Cas after that.

Castiel is newly human, when she burst through his bedroom door in the bunker, shaking him awake. "Dean." She says with panic in her husky voice. Dean squints at her through tired eyes. She drags him from his bed and to the bathroom. She pulls off her pajama pants (here Dean raises an eyebrow because really?) and shows them to him. "Dean I believe I am hemorrhaging, I need to go to the hospital."

Dean looked down into her pants with a sinking feeling and sure enough there was a stain that definitely resembled blood. Cas had to be joking with him, there was no way she- _Oh God._ With a muted feeling of horror, he realized that Cas had always had one particular bloody spot on her coat. Castiel was an angel (ex-angel? He was sure she was human now) and as much as a he hated to think it, she was still naïve in many ways.

"This is fucking great." Dean said to himself, running a hand through his hair as he tried to think of what to say to her. But damn, how do you tell your friend that she has too ride the cotton pony when she couldn't grasp the simple concept of porn? He apparently spoke too loudly because Cas gave him one of her hurt looks and backed away from him.

"Many apologies, Dean. My death obviously means very little for you to be so happy about it." She shifted away from him as she spoke, her eyes flickering from her pants that were still in her hands to the door to him. Dean resisted the urge to bash his head into the wall. This was what he meant. He was speaking sarcastically to himself, yet Castiel had thought he was speaking sincerely to her. _What would dad do?_

Dean straightened up, and Cas' eyes flicked to him, "Cas, you're human now- "

Castiel interrupted him "I know that, Dean. Believe me, I will never forget the feeling of Metatron ripping out my grace."

Dean decided to pretend he didn't hear that, "When a human woman reaches a certain age changes in her body- "

Cas yet again interrupted him, "But Dean, I already know that. I am aware of the difference between a man and a woman's body. A woman develops breasts and her hips widen. What does this have to do with me, Dean? And the possibility of me bleeding to death!?" her voice raised and if Dean didn't know any better he'd think Castiel was scared. His inner voice, the one that sounded an awful lot like Bobby Singer shouted at him, making him wince. _You Dumbass! Can't you see she's scared? You are dealing with an angel that has no idea what is happening! Be simpler, you Idgit!_

Dean really didn't want to deal with this. A sudden idea flashed through his mind. Surely Sam could explain this to Castiel much better then he could. Deciding that would be best (and less psychologically scarring) he put his arm around Cas, subliminally putting her in the direction of Sam's room.

"Cas, I really don't know how to explain this. Go talk to Sam."

"Dean, I must disagree. You are the one I share the profound bond with, not Sam." Castiel protested as Dean pushed her out into the hallway. "And," She continued, "I have no idea how much time I have until I die."

Dean's eye twitched. Why must she be so difficult?! Resigning himself to being stuck in this situation, he marched down the hall to Sam's bedroom, ignoring Cas as she talked about how she was sure that the only reason she wasn't dead yet was because Metatron hadn't taken all her grace. If he had to deal with this, so did Sam. _After all_ , he thought as he banged on Sam's door, _what were brothers for?_

Several hours later and many interesting and mortifying conversations later ("Sam, why do have tampons in your bag? I thought only women menstruated?" "Don't worry about it Cas, and Dean stop laughing!") Dean was in his own bed. He closed his eyes and tried to sleep. Of course, that was when Cas came into his room again, blue eyes wide and trusting. He sighed, but said nothing as she climbed into bed with him. She had had a tiring night and if she wanted to sleep with him because they had a "profound bond" then so be it. He wrapped an arm around his ex-angel's waist and drifted off to sleep.

 _A/N: So this popped into my head awhile ago, but I only just now finished it. Any spelling or grammatical errors are mine. I try, but I'm only human. Leave a review and let me know what you think. Also, in case your wondering why Sammy has tampons, they do miracles for bloody noses._

 _I remain as always your obedient servant,_

 _P.O.P_


End file.
